Monday, 24 February 2020

Tata Ultra Marathon

Last year one of my office colleague had mentioned about this event. Though then I wasn't aware of the name. All I had heard from him was that this event is held in Lonavla and that the race begins very early in the morning at 230AM. So after my stint in SRT Ultra, where I had heard a lot of new names of Ultras conducted all over India, I had started planning for the year 2020. So in this process I came to know the name of Tata Ultra Marathon (TUM). It mainly had two categories i.e. 35 Kms and 50 Kms. The qualifications for these categories were as below:

- 35 Kms: Should have Completed Half Marathon in 2 Hours 45 Minutes
- 50 Kms: Should have Completed a Marathon in 5 Hours 30 Minutes

Along with the above two, the ones who have completed any Ultra Marathon shall be qualified for the event. 

After going through eligibility criteria I assumed my SRT Ultra (25 Kms) certificate shall be eligible for TUM. So I registered for the same and was waiting for New year to book the accommodation. But somewhere in the month of January I got an email saying the link (SRT Ultra Marathon Timing Certificate) mentioned in the registration form wasn't working so I had to share another link in order to ensure my qualification in TUM. Luckily, I had a good start to the year 2020 at the Navi Mumbai Mayor Half Marathon where I had completed it in 2:21:18. So had I received this email in 2019, I wouldn't have qualified for TUM. After sharing the new link the organisers confirmed my eligibility for the 35 Kms category.

The reason to participate in this event of 35 Kms was simple for me. In the run up to TMM - 2021, this would be a step up from Half Marathon by nearing the mark of 42.2 Kms. And most importantly the organisers had mentioned in their website that they will be taking care of Hydration as there will be water zones on the route. So that will mean less luggage for me as I will not have to carry the small bag and extra bottles for water. 

So by January end I had booked the accommodation. The package didn't include food as they were providing bus drop from hotel to start point and from finish point back to hotel. When I had checked my location of the hotel, fortunately they were close by from the Lonavla station and also from the Start Point. It was approximately 1.5 Kms. So to reach Start Point we could walk but the bus drop was essential from Finish Point as it was around 25 Kms away from the hotel.

After accomodation, came the travel plans. For reaching Lonavla I had booked a seat in the train, Deccan Express. But for return when I checked for Deccan Express, all the tickets were full. So I booked an available train which was at 1230 from Lonavla and shall drop me at Kalyan by 3Pm. From there I will have to take a local train. But whether I will be able to board this train or not is a bit dicey. As the race will end at 930AM. Then from Finish point we have to cover the journey of 25 Kms by bus which was going to start at 1030 AM. Most probably the bus will be dropping us at the Start Point which is still 1.5 Kms walk to the hotel. Then freshening up, changing and walking 1.5 Kms to Lonavla station. I was skeptical that I will be able to board the train. So I had explored the options of luxury buses and ST buses to reach Mumbai on Sunday post race.

On the D - Day, I reached Lonavla on time checked in the hotel by 11Am. Got settled and went to collect my BIB. The Start Point is exactly near the Sunil Wax Museum. I took the goody bag which contained my BIB Number, T-shirt, Bandana, Cap and Torch. The volunteer explained me that I should return the torch as soon as the sun is out to the nearest hydration zone. I took the bag and started walking back to my hotel. Enroute I had seen a tea stall, so I waited there to have a cup of tea. All around me there were Chikki stalls. But ironically, they were empty and all the wine shops were crowded. After entering the hotel room, I prepared my morning dresses like attaching the BIB on the T-shirt, my knee cap, protein bars, mobile holder, wrist band, Bandana, Cap, shoes etc. 

With all that done now it was time to relax and wait for race day. This time the stay was more comfortable as compared to my previous Ultra stints as in both cases I had opted for tent stay. Here we had a AC room, with TV, comfortable bed, multiple charging points and attached bathroom too. So this was going to be a comfortable stay. I had switched on the TV to my favourite daily soap Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah and was relaxing on my bed awaiting the arrival of other roommates. It was supposed to be a triple sharing room. 

The evening race briefing was cancelled. So now we (Me along with my roommate) were just killing time by playing Carrom. When bored we went out for a walk and visited the Race Expo again. We checked the hydration zones and marked the distance in which we were going to get water supply. We had a cup of tea and again came back to our room. By now the third member had also arrived. Coincidentally we all three were from Mumbai and all three were Maharashtrian. So rapport building wasn't that hard. We talked for sometime and then switched on the TV and were watching a movie Raid. 

At around 7Pm we left our rooms for dinner. Since we were supposed to get up at 2Am so it was necessary to have dinner early. We both had a Veg Thali. Post dinner we did a small walk and then directly into our bed. All alarms were set for 2AM. Approximately 5 hours of sleep was all we will be getting before we start the race. 

Finally came the race day. We all geared up and gathered in the lobby of the hotel. The bus dropped us at the Start Point. Announcements were being made for all runners to get inside the holding area as refreshments were served. The host was also making important announcements such as about the route, hydration zones, cut off timing etc. On Saturday I was doing my calculations. Already 5 hours for 35 Kms was a huge task for me. To add to that we had to adhere to an intermittent cut off too. That was at 3 hours 20 minutes and at a distance of 25 Kms. So I had kept it as my reverse countdown. The race will kick off at 430 AM. So my target was to reach the 25 Kms target at 730 AM keeping 20 minutes in buffer. And then complete the balance 10 Kms by 9 AM, keeping 30 Minutes as buffer. During SRT Ultra, I was keeping track of time by looking at my phone. This time I didn't had the luxury of time to take out my phone from my pouch and keep track of time. Luckily the MI Band which I had gifted to my brother which was lying in the house unused, I had brought with me. And it was indeed a blessing.

As part of the refreshments, I had a cup of tea with some glucose biscuits and a banana. Also I was having some dry fruits. This time I also had two protein bars with me to have during the course. After the initial rounds of instructions, we were asked to move towards the starting line. It was almost 430 AM. Amidst the roar to the answer of How's the josh? High Sir, the race kicked off. As ritual, I started all my apps i.e. Strava, Pacer, Relive, MI Fit and Wynk. I had also prepared a new playlist of around 50 songs for this race which had some DJ songs as well downloaded from YouTube.

The initial 6 Kms were going to be crucial. As that was the only patch when we will be having the flat route. Post that the elevation will begin. At the start I wasn't feeling that good. But those are just the initial uneasiness which one has to overcome as body begins to adjust to the process. The torch was on. I was only carrying one bottle of water as the route was hydrated at regular intervals. I was consistently checking time on the band to ensure if I am within the reach of my target. My initial focus was to reach at the Cut off checkpoint by 730 AM, which meant to cover 25 Kms in the first 3 hours. As I already mentioned the 5 Hours Total Time for the 35 Kms route was already a task for me as in SRT Ultra we had 6 Hours for 25 Kms whereas in Deccan Ultra we had 7 Hours for 30 Kms.

Inspite of the initial uneasiness, I was quite surprised to have clocked my personal best in 5 Kms which I had it covered in 32 Minutes. That was indeed quick and my first hint that I may be able to complete this race. Running long distance is as much a mental game as it is physical. It is essential to keep the thoughts in control as body will respond to the signals the mind will give. At each kilometer there were placards showing the number of kilometers left. Watching that can sometimes be cheerful and sometime might have a negative impact. So it is essential that such information should only be used for informative purpose and one shouldn't adjust their run according to the distance mentioned in the markers. Ofcourse in the end one surely has to adjust when you are near the cut off point or the finish line. So with each passing placard I was doing my mental calculation of how much time has gone by, how much distance covered and how much is left? If the outcome of this discussion was positive I went on with my race.

This experience was surely better than all my earlier marathon type events mainly because I never did so much mental calculation or had looked at the time. Today I was also not concentrating on the Finish Line. I was just taking One Kilometer at a time. That was my target. With 6 Kms over, we had just crossed the second hydration station. I checked my bottle and it still had enough water for me to sustain for another 2 Kms which was the approximate distance between two hydration zones. So with that began the ascent from INS Shivaji. Though I had earphones plugged in still I could hear some runners chanting Bharat Mata Ki Jai. From here, it was more of walking now. Only when I got some flat road did I run. In the next water station, I had to fill my bottle.

It was still dark. As I was walking on the ascent, I decided to open the protein bar and have a bite. Things were going as per the plan. The hydration zones were equipped with Ice packs and sponge to cool you down. Truly the organisers had taken lot of efforts to ensure the runners feel comfortable enroute. As we reached the 15 Kms mark we could now see the 50 Kms runners also on the route. I also came across one of my roommate as we crossed the mark.

After I completed my half marathon I checked my clock. It was almost 720AM. Approximately, three hours had passed by. Now the tension was building up. I had only 30 Minutes left to cover the next 4 kms else it was going to be a DNF tag, again. Already One DNF I had this month and for sure I didn't want it again. So I started to pick up speed as much as I could. From now on I was almost watching the watch every minute. 750 AM was the cut off. Around 500 meters before the 25 Kms checkpoint they had written it on the road, "Cut off Ahead." Luckily there was some descent which helped me pick up some speed. Finally the 25 Kms check point was visible and I surely cannot explain how much soothing it was to my eyes. As soon as I crossed the timing Mat it was 7:46 am in the clock, which meant I had reached the cut off time 4 minutes in advance. This was also the first race in which I had an intermittent cut off. So the experience was surreal. I could see some runners already celebrating and clicking selfies. Apparently, this was also the Cut off zone for 50 kms runners too. So for them the distance was 40 kms.

Up until now there use to be two signboards showing the number of kilometers left, one for my category and other for the 50 Kms category. But post the cut off now it was going to be just one as both categories had 10 Kms left in their quota. I relaxed for 2 minutes, took some energy drinks and then checked my clock. 1.5 Hours of race time was left and 10 Kms distance to be covered in it. One battle was over but the war wasn't over yet.

On a regular day this much time and distance would have been a cake walk. But on the hills its a different game. You just cannot run when the ascent begins. And from here on we had a lot of elevation to cover. One thing I remembered quite vividly from the elevation chart was the last 5 kms had the most elevation in this final leg of 10 Kms. So it wasn't over yet. Whenever I got downhill, I ensured I will run with the pace of the road and let gravity guide me. Some runners were being cautious but since I was wearing trail running shoes I had a bit faith in them that they won't slip on the tar road. It was like climbing one hill and getting down and again climbing another.

As we reached the final 5 Kms, the hydration zones were now available at every Kilometer mark. And I was filling water bottle at each zone, plus having some of the energy drink to keep myself hydrated. The sun was firing upon us. I had to change the position of the cap on to its regular pose as too much sunlight was coming on the eyes. A lesson I have taken that I need to carry sun glasses, the next time I am on a Ultra race.

The last 3 Kilometers were left now and we still had 30 Minutes in the clock. I was at peace as well as at war in my mind. The time was enough but now for the next 2.5 kms we had a Up hill climb. Now this was going to be testing times. Multiple "What If" thoughts were looming in my head. What if I end up with a DNF tag at the fag end of the race? With 33 kms down, this was already the highest ever I have run on any route in my entire life. But it still wasn't enough. I then remembered the Navi Mumbai Mayor Half Marathon at the start of the year where I had achieved my personal best. It was with a long term target to ensure my qualification for the Tata Mumbai Marathon 2021. If I get a DNF today, then surely I will have a laugh at myself that how can I aim for a Marathon when I can't complete 35 Kms? The failure of Deccan Ultra also came in front of my eyes. How it still hurts? What if today I again fail?

All these thoughts had my head filled in the last miles. The clock was now at 923 AM, which meant we had 7 minutes to go and the Finish Line was still not visible. Then we saw a guy coming on a bike who was cheering the runners. He said, Come On, "700 Meters To Go and 6 Minutes Left". That was a siren. We were still climbing with no signs of flat surface. Now there was only one option left, RUN. 

We were some 200 Meters away when I stopped my music player. That's when I heard the sound of dhol. Now the finish line was audible but not visible yet and clock was at 927 AM. I pushed myself for one last time as suddenly I got a doubt that what if my clock and their clocks aren't aligned with each other.

Now, finally, I could see the finish line with lots of people cheering at us as we were ending the race. That's when my eyes went to a heavenly scene. I finally saw the official clock. It said 9:28:20, which meant now I had 1 minute 40 seconds more to go. That was the first time I breathed a huge sigh of relief in the past 5 hours.

I passed the finish line with timing of 4:58:30 thus completing my Tata Ultra Marathon in Category 35 Kilometers. The medal was indeed precious. I hope this helps me achieving my final short term goal. Indeed it was a positive step towards it.

Though for now, it was time to relish the refereshments (Noodles, Boiled Egg, Sandwich and Cake) and later on figure out the transport to home as my train was cancelled.

Until Next Time.


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You.

Friday, 21 February 2020

Reflect Refuel Refresh

When the going becomes tuff
When every step becomes an obstacle
When defeat is the outcome 
Inspite of all the efforts

Time it is to pause, Take a short break

One thing you should always understand
Not everything will be in your control 
Sometimes letting go is the only way forward

Mind and body
No matter how much you mould it
Will react to the surroundings and happenings

It is upto us to understand the signals
And make amendments in the way

So, when I say to pause, it is mainly to reflect 
Just turn the time and reflect upon the journey
You covered uptill now

You have come this far surely for some reason
Not all can walk the path you walked

When I say to pause, it is to refuel
Visit the battle grounds which you conquered
When you started treading this path

That is where the motivation lies
Refuel your body whilst you bask in your past glory

You have come this far surely not to return in the past

When I say to pause, it is to refresh
Mind and Body both need a break, to breathe
So take that short break, to reflect and refuel

In order to stand Refreshed, on the Start Line again
For a New Battle in the Life's War


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You!!!

Monday, 17 February 2020

तू माणूस आहेस

तू माणूस आहेस 
कितीही केलं तरी कुठे तरी कमी पडणारच

आपण कितीही म्हणू मी पूर्ण विचार केला आहे
त्याने फक्त मनाचं समाधान होईल
कुठे तरी काही तरी सुटणार 

तू माणूस आहेस 
कितीही केलं तरी कुठे तरी कमी पडणारच

लढाईच्या पूर्व तयारी ला 
आपण कुठलीच कसर नाही सोडणार
पण युद्धाचा निकाल जेव्हा विरुद्ध लागणार
तेव्हा दोष आपण नशीबा वर टाकणार

प्रत्येक शेर ला एक सव्वा शेर मिळणार

तू माणूस आहेस 
कितीही केलं तरी कुठे तरी कमी पडणारच

आपण म्हणू तीच पूर्व दिशा हे वागणं मुळात चुकीचं
कारण कितीही उदार मतवादी आपण स्वतःला म्हणू
तरी कोणासाठी तरी आपण संकुचित असणार

तू माणूस आहेस 
कितीही केलं तरी कुठे तरी कमी पडणारच

आयुष्यात एकच गोष्ट कायम स्वरुपी आहे
आणि ती म्हणजे बदल
म्हणून आपले सर्व विचार 
काळासोबत बदला वेच लागणार

शेवटी आपण माणूसच आहोत ना
किती ही म्हटलं तरी कुठे तरी कमी पडणार


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You !!

Friday, 14 February 2020

द लिटिल थिंग्ज

आज काल वेळ इतक्या वेगाने बदलत आहे. डोळ्याच्या पापण्या मिटून उघडेस्तोवर आजू बाजूचे जग बदलले असेल | रोजच्या वेळे प्रमाणे कामावर जायला बस स्टॉप वर उभा होतो | तेव्हा बाजूंनी जोरात गाणी वाजवत एक रिक्षा गेली | सहज डोळ्या समोर शाळेचे दिवस आले | त्या वेळी खरं तर रिक्षाचा प्रवास हे देखील किती मोठी गोष्ट होती | पण  जेव्हा जायचं ठरलं तर आधी डेक वाली रिक्षा शोधायचं | जणू ती एक सवयच होती | आणि जसं मी त्या दिवसांन मधून बाहेर आलो आणि आजू बाजूला पहिला तर आज प्रत्येकाच्या कानात डेक सारखा आवाज देणारे एरफोन आहेत | म्हणून कदाचित तो रिक्षा वाला गाणी तर वाजवत होता पण त्याची रिक्षा मात्र रिकामी होती |

सकाळी नाश्ता करताना तारक मेहता का उलटा चस्मा बघायची सवय आहे मला | आज जो भाग लावला त्यात लहान मुलांचे उन्हाळ्याच्या सुट्ट्या यावर होतं | आणि त्या वेळी देखील मी माझ्या समर व्हेकेशन मध्ये रमलो | घरी असलो की गम्मी बेर किंवा टेल स्पिन किंवा डक टेलस किंवा स्मॉल वंडर किंवा जंगल बुक अशे कार्टून बघायचे | आणि मैदानी खेळ म्हटलं तर क्रिकेट, लगोरी, लपा छुपी, बचाव साखळी ह्यात वेळ कसा आणि कुठे जायचं काही समजायचं नाही | जर आई वडिलांना कामावर सुट्टी मिळाली तर एखाद फेरी गावची सुद्धा व्हायची | आणि आज काल तर सकाळ झाली की रात्र कशी होते हेच कळत नाही |

किती गरजा कमी होत्या ना आपल्या 
आई नी बनवलेली मॅगी ने सुद्धा वेगळीच मज्जा यायची

जेवायला बाहेर जायचं म्हणजे नुसती धम्माल
काय खाऊ आणि किती खाऊ असं व्हायचं

क्रिकेट मध्ये रोज भांडण व्ह्याची
कधी कोणाची काच फुटायची तर कधी तूब लाईट

पण एक बाटली पाण्याची मिळाली 
की त्यात अखी टीम आपली तहान विजवायची

उन्हाळ्यात बर्फाच्या गोळ्याचा आणि कुल्फी च सुख 
ह्याला तर व्यक्त करण्यास शब्दाचं नाही

आज आपल्या कडे सगळे काही आहे
रोज नाश्त्याला खाऊ इतकी मॅगी
आणि रोज वेगळं हॉटेल मध्ये जेऊ इतकी दुकानं

आइस्क्रीम चे प्रकार इतके आहेत 
की पूर्वी आपण काळजी घ्याचो, खाताना सांडू नये
आणि आता तर अर्धा आइस्क्रीम 
हा गलासच्या बाहेरच असतो

पण एक गोष्ट आहे जी तेव्हा आपल्या जवळ होती 
पण आज नाही आहे
आणि ते म्हणजे समाधान मनाचं

धावपळीत आपण थांबायचं विसरलोय
एक टप्पा गाटला की दुसऱ्या शर्यतीला लागतो

म्हणून कदाचित तो डेक वाला रिक्षा आज रिकामी होता | कारण लहान गोष्टींचा आनंद घ्यायला आपल्याला संकुचित वाटतेय | 


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You !!

Tuesday, 11 February 2020

हॅपी बर्थ डे

खोडकर पणा नुस्ता भरले ला आहे तिच्यात
पण मनाचा हळवे पणा मी पहिला आहे

जागा समोर जेव्हा ती जास्त हस्ते 
तेव्हा आत ती एक वादळ लपवत असते

म्हणून प्रयत्न करून ही 
ती माझ्याशी खोटं नाही बोलू शकत 
हा तिचा दुर्दैव आहे असं म्हणायला हरकत नाही

ऑफिस च्या कामात तिला काडीचा ही रास नसतो
किवा खरं म्हणजे तिला काही येते ह्यातच मला शंका आहे

पण माणूस म्हणून खूप दमदार आहे तू
हे पण तितकच खरं आहे

वयाने तर तू लहान आहेस माझ्यापेक्षा 
आणि कर्तृत्वाचा आपण आज नकोच काही बोलायला
पण मनाने मात्र तू श्रीमंत आहेस हे ही तितकंच खरं

तसं तुला ब्रेक ला मला टांग द्यायला बरं जमतं 
तुझ्या एसएससी मधल्या टवाळ क्याण बरोबर जाण्यासाठी

पण इकडे नसून सुध्दा व्हीसी करून तुला फोटो मधे
फक्त आम्हीच घेतलं होतं हे विसरू नकोस बाई

आज तुझा प्रकट दिवस
आणि शुभेच्छा द्यायची परंपरा असते असं म्हणतात राव
फक्त ती सुरू राहावी म्हणून हॅपी बर्थ डे टू यू

नाही तर आपल्या शब्दांशी तू परिचित आहेस सच
पण आज तुला त्या तून एक ब्रेक

जशी आहेस आणि परिस्थितीनं जसं सामोरे जातेस
तशीच कायम राह
वयाने झालीस तशी मेंदूने ही थोडी मोठी हो  

इतकं काही गोड नाही आहे तुझं हसणं बरं का
तरी ती बत्तिशी अशीच कायम ठेव

तुला जन्मदिवसाच्या हार्दिक शुभेछा
या वेळी मात्र मना पासून दिल्या 


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You !!

Deccan Ultra - The Failure

Just when I was about to start writing about this failure, I received an message on the group related to this event on WhatsApp. The organisers had shared the results of all Categories in the Deccan Ultra. I checked what was written in front of my name in the 30 KM Category. In capital it read, DNS. It means Did Not Start. Because I never completed the race or I should say I didn't stood upto, in the competition. Though in the Rank Column they have mentioned DNF (Did Not Finish). But I personally think DNS is more appropriate for me.

After reading the first para you may be wondering what is the use of reading what's written below. As such rarely, people read anything about failure. You will never see someone flaunting their failures on social media or on any platform. Nor will you see someone recommending you books about read this failure, because even if someone writes they may never find a publisher who will be willing to publish the account. Speaking of social media, if you know me, you might question me as to what different I did. I always upload stories on Instagram after every Marathon or Trek. But even I didn't upload anything on that platform. Well it is true, but the real reason is I do not have any picture from the race or the trail that I thought I could upload. I had all the captions or words in mind. But no picture to upload. So I thought to pen my journey here. Because we may cook up stories for the world but deep inside we know what demons we have to fight. And we may succeed in hiding them from the world but when you look into the mirror are you able to have an eye contact with yourself? That is the part which has been troubling me. I may have purchased a medal hanger in the start of this year which has a punch line, "Never Give Up". And I could see that in front of my eyes when I was running on the trail yesterday. Unfortunately I couldn't live upto it. And so when I was looking at the medals hanging their today, I just couldn't dare to look up at those words. That should sum it all, what exactly is going on in my head. So lets start from the beginning.

After my successful stint in SRT Ultra (25Km), I knew I could do the ultras too. More than running on road, I would surely love to run the trails. The only thing tricky about this part of races is it pinches my already torn pocket more. Because for trails, apart from the fees you also need to pay for the Stay, food and Travel. So each Trail can cost me around 4-5K. But still the experience is heavenly. And for a person who has a thing for both the activities i.e. trekking and running. If I am getting both the activity in one package isn't that a Saturnalia Miracle.

So post SRT, I had started digging into all the names of races I heard from fellow racers as well as some of own digging and searching on Google. The first two that had come on my list in the ascending order in case of months in which they are organised were the Deccan Ultra in Bhandardara and Tata Ultra in Lonavala. So I kept my target quite clear for the first two months. Start 2020 with the Navi Mumbai Mayor Half Marathon. Give my best to get the timing under 2 hours 30 minutes. As in most of the major events which have distance ranging from 25 km - 42.195 Km you need a participation certificate of completion of a Half Marathon inside 2:30 Hours. By achieving that, I had decided to step up in my ultimate short term goal for Tata Mumbai Marathon 2021. But directly after doing a 25Km I cannot jump in for a 42.195 km race. Hence I need to go step by step. So the next step was to compete in Deccan Ultra (Category 30Km) and later the Tata Ultra (Category 35Km). So before the summer heat starts building up which will mean a break in long running as the sun won't permit it. I will have officially ran 35 Kms. So that would mean I still have a good 8 months in my hand to practise the next 7 kms in my journey to achieve the Holy Grail (TMM 2021).

But if everything goes as per your plan then that isn't life. It surely will be fiction.

After achieving my target in the Navi Mumbai Mayor Half Marathon, I could say I had buried the ghost of last year's Navy Half Marathon debacle. So now my focus was on Deccan Ultra. In December, I had attempted a first time to run 40Km. However gave up on 32Km. And that was on road. For Deccan Ultra, I had to run the mountains. To give a gist about my category i.e. 30Km I had to run the farms and small mountains for a good 10-15Km, climb the highest peak of Maharashtra and descent from it which will a good 10-12 Km. And some part of the race will go in tar road too. So in my January I had decided to have two good treks in the Sahaydri which will help me in the built up to this event. Hence I did the AMK Trek and a Baglan Region Trek. Both of them contained a total of 8 forts which we covered in 4 days. So if we speak theoretically, this was a good amount of mountain practice. But I guess I was wrong.

It did give me the much needed mountain practice but also it gave me a bit of mountain fatigue. This is where the seeds lie for me giving up in the mid race. 

Now coming to the week before the race. Just before the race a close friend got married. So I was involved in all the preparations for almost 4 days including the marriage day. This resulted in just one practice session of 4Km in the last 7 days before the race. Another nail in the coffin.

My travel plans included a train journey from Thane To Igatpuri on the morning of Saturday, a day before race. And from Igatpuri, a share taxi till an area named Waki Bungalow. From their the base camp was a kilometre walk. Though it seemed sorted but I was skeptical as it won't be that easy in the villages as we think it is. So with a leap of faith, packing all my essentials I left for Igatpuri. This time I was better prepared than I was for SRT Ultra. I had trail running shoes, gloves (in case any section involves ropes), chocolates, sweater etc. But I guess what I lacked this time was the mental conviction.

After reaching Igatpuri, the organisers had suggested to take a share taxi till Waki Bungalow. And from there it was supposed to be a kilometre walk till the base camp. The first thing I noticed as I got down at Igatpuri station was the cold winds even at 9Am. While walking on the Railway FOB I was desperately searching for the Sun. Soon as I got down on the road, I checked in for a cup of tea. While sipping the nectar of life I was rolling my eyes all around. To my left was a Auto Rickshaw stand which were taking passengers to a place named Ghoti in Rs. 20 per seat. From there my destination is approximately 40Kms (that was my mental calculation). To my right was the taxi stand. Behind me was a sweet shop. Looking at the chocolates a realisation happened. I had purchased chocolates in advance to use in the race but has forgot to carry them. So first I went in the sweet shop to check if I can get the chocolates I want. Luckily they had Snickers, which originally I was searching when I had went to the shops near my house. But they didn't had so I had bought the 5 Star Fuse. Now here in Igatpuri I ended up buying the same chocolate I was originally looking for. After that was done I left towards the taxi stand. I asked him for the share amount towards Waki Bungalow. One of them being a local still had heard that name for the first time. The other guy was explaining him where it is. Though I wasn't interested in their discussion, I directly asked are you going to take me or not? The guy said we can't but he suggested me another alternative. He asked me to take a share auto till Ghoti. From their I will get the share jeep for Waki Bungalow. So I sat down in the Auto. Two more guys joined in. Suddenly the driver said one more seat will come behind so make way. We three were looking at each other and conveyed an unsaid statement, 'Where will that person sit"? 

Finally a girl came and she also said two more girls will join ahead. So the auto man asked one of the guy to come forward and the girl joined us. Auto started. I had kept my maps On just in case to keep a check if I am heading in the right direction. As the other two girls met on the route the auto man now called the other guy also ahead leaving me with three girl's behind. 

As we reached the Ghoti market area, I asked him if he will take me to Waki. At first he was confused but then he agreed. He was confirming from me is it the same place which has fishes. Now I wasn't aware so I told what I could see in the maps; a stone crusher, a dam ,a river etc.  I also mentioned about Deccan Ultra incase he has heard it. He nodded positively so I assumed we may have a deal here. He said Rs. 100. I was like fair enough. In 120 I was getting a distance of almost 50Kms. Though I was a bit skeptical but I thought of playing with it. As maps were On I knew I won't get lost. As soon as he touched the highway he took another route. Now that much was enough for me to conclude we both were talking about different Waki. 

After a brief discussion we headed back to where we started. He dropped me at the exact point from where I will get the share jeep. But this detour did cost me Rs. 50 more. Well that's part and parcel of solo travel. He also introduced me to one more jeep driver and asked him to help me with my travel plan to Waki Bhandardara. At first the driver told me to wait here only as the jeep will come. So in my waiting I was trying to avoid an eye contact with him as they might consider me as a good revenue opportunity. He was trying to explain me that jeep will take lot of time to come plus once they do arrive they will wait till 18 seats are full. All this was music to my ears as time was a luxury I had in ample. So I was ready for any amount of waiting time.

After considering that I might not agree he suggested me another option. That's when I felt, Okay he was actually trying to help me and not looking at me as a revenue opportunity. He said if you walk back on the route from where you came, there is a ST Bus Stand. From there you will find a bus to Waki Bungalow. I was like fair enough. So I asked him the route and started walking towards the bus depot.

At the enquiry counter in the depot I asked about the bus, they said it will come here at 1015. I asked from where will it be coming. They said Kasara. I was like I could have opted for this mode as well. So I made a mental note for my return journey. After getting in the bus, I asked for Waki Bungalow. The ticket price was Rs. 40. I did tell the conductor to let me know when Waki comes. But she didn't. Luckily my maps was still working so I guessed the destination. The bus journey took around 1:15 hours. It dropped me at a Chowk where there were two shops but no Bungalow. I just made a mental note of the surrounding as this was the same place I have to come tomorrow while leaving for home. 

Though the organisers told that the walking distance from Waki to Base Camp will be 1km it was approximately 2. But walking is something I always welcome. So it wasn't a matter of concern. Finally after all the morning stunts I had reached the destination at 12Pm. The moment I entered I saw Nupur Singh, a great Ultra Athlete. A role model. And also I met Sandeep Kumar. Only Indian to have participated in the Comrades event in South Africa. They told me to relax and stroll around as the tents are being put in place. So I kept my bag near their tables and went around to take a walk near the backwaters of a dam.

Since I had booked triple occupancy, they allotted me a fair good size tent. So I kept my bag inside, got myself changed and went in for lunch. The stay at Deccan Ultra was costlier than SRT. SRT had provided me stay plus two time food and evening snacks in Rs. 1250. Deccan only had covered stay and one time food plus evening snack in Rs. 1600. So I was supposed to pay for the lunch I was about to have. Also in snacks they didn't provide anything. Even the tea was black one. As their theme was Vegan hence they were not even using milk. 

They also had made a bus arrangements for people traveling from Mumbai. But the bus was booked for 3 days. Which meant the bus will leave for Mumbai on Monday. Given the scenario that my race was about to end at 1330 on Sunday. Why would I wait for one more day? So I had not selected that option. And in the end it came out as a good decision. Because the bus which left Mumbai on Saturday morning 930 reached the base camp in the evening 530. Due to less crowd in the afternoon the Saturday lunch for which we had to pay became free for us. 

By Evening all the tents were now accommodated. I met my first tent mate. He was from The Indian Air force. Then in the tent opposite to me where people from the Indian Army. Their talks were unbelievable. The operations they had conducted on the battlefield, the real battles with life and death on the line. Talks about real encounters. They were truly fascinating. The real patriotic Indians. 

One more thing happened since my arrival in the campsite till the briefing which happened in the evening 7pm. Suddenly I was feeling lonely. Mainly homesick  Not sure why? There was no one to talk too at the campsite. I was just lying in the tent alone. To avoid those depressing thoughts and to divert my mind I was chatting with few friends on WhatsApp. But the mental damage was already done. This is one lesson I am taking from this failure. Next time I am not reaching early for any event especially when I am aware I don't have any known face to interact with. This also happened during AMK Trek. Generally waiting time kills the spark specially if I am mentally alone. I need something working, being idle takes me in a limbo state of mind making it difficult to manage things.

As the crowd had started filling up the campsite the organisers called out everyone to record a drone shot. Post that the black tea was served. With people around now, I started interacting with anyone and everyone I was coming across just to make myself comfortable. Meanwhile the much awaited announcement happened, BIB distribution and race briefing. 

For me the main thing to listen in the briefing was to confirm if there are going to be any technical patches in my category. Luckily there wasn't any. So it was going to be a mountain trail from Basecamp till Bari village which was 9 kms. From their begins the ascent for Kalsubai peak and then coming to Udhadwane village by descending which will total upto 18kms. Finally moving to Base camp again covering the balance distance. So that much was for me in the briefing. With that done, we moved to have our dinner. I was hoping there should be an option for jowar bhakri as I am not much of the fan of that item and since we were served that in the lunch. Luckily we had chapati. I was dead hungry so had a sumptuous meal before heading towards my tent.

I planned to get up early the next morning in order to wrap up with all my morning chores and be race ready. Generally for breakfast I was expecting Poha and black tea. But thankfully they had kept Upma as well. With that I was all set for the second Ultra race of my life. This time I wasn't feeling the thrill but something was just holding me back. I could see excitement on some faces while some had curiosity as to what laid ahead of us. But my mind was just stuck behind in the campsite. I was controlling the urge of staying behind instead of taking part in the race. I wasn't sure what or why this was happening. For this was the first time I was facing the scenario. As we all were set on the Start Line, the organisers asked us to wait for 10 minutes. As the sun was about to rise then nobody will have to carry the torch. With the head count done, the race started finally.

Initial few kilometers weren't that much of a trouble. Being my second ultra run I was drawing comparison with the SRT Ultra. The SRT organiser has used orange ribbon as a marker. They had tied orange ribbon on the tree just to allow us to know the route. In Deccan Ultra, they had used white paint to mark the route. So initially we were finding the makers and hence the journey was going cool uptill now. Post completion of 2Kms something went wrong. The ones who had gone ahead couldn't find the marker on the road. The organiser had told us they have made marking in every 200 metres. But if you walk ahead for atleast 500 metres and still don't find the markers then do come back to the last marker and start again. This is actually the beauty of trail running. The only tricky thing is if you are in group then it is fun. Else it will be a frustrating moment for you.

By taking all the possible wrong turns we finally agreed upon one route and we all started running towards it. The moment we touched upon a tar road I was sure we were on the wrong route or rather to be precise we were on a long route. But this wasn't a time to argue. During the mix up of route there was so much time where I could have clicked pictures or even taken videos. But even to check the maps and help fellow runners I didn't even showed the courtesy to take out of my phone. I was getting a feeling that I had mentally given up. But somehow I didn't want to give in. So I continued the trail. I got a runner who was pacing with me till Bari Village. So that journey again became comfortable. But then again that is not how ultra runs are, that is not how it is supposed to happen. You are on your own in the Ultras. And I am being dependable on something or the other. This was just not supposed to be my day. I have run 10kms, 15 Kms, 21kms and even 25 kms. But never was I dependent on anyone. I was always running my route. But today it was all opposite. And by now we had just reached Bari, which was supposed to be 8.5 Kms but because of our detour it became almost 10kms. I marked by BIB No. on the checkpoint to confirm I passed through the point. I filled my bottle with water but unfortunately it was mixed with Unived fruit mix. Already my mind was not in my control and this added more fuel in the fire. Everytime I took a sip of water it was having the flavour of banana. I know it was supposed to be good for a runner, but I was just not in that mental state. Even though I had water in my bag yet I chose to get frustrated on the banana water when I could have easily replaced it.

By now, I had reached the entry gate of Kalsubai. It was the same place where I was relaxing after descending from Kalsubai Trek almost a year ago. With two good treks in the previous month I should have been all set to kick off the climb. The run plus walk on the climb was on. The ascent had begun. The ones who had gone ahead were now visible. The climb was slow but it was going good. I think I must have completed atleast 20% of the climb when suddenly my left leg bottom side started paining. This pain has been quite regular in this winter. Every morning when I get up I am not able to stand on my left leg.But after few minutes it becomes normal and then I can run. But on this race day nothing of the pain happened in the morning. And unfortunately it started paining now. I am not sure whether it was the mental fatigue or all other things which I mentioned above that resulted in this pain. I stopped in the middle and I guess I just made up my mind to not go ahead. I didn't feel any energy inside me nor any motivation. Lot of thoughts were going in my head but not one of it was a positive one. Finally I made the call to the organisers and asked them if they were still at the Bari Village as I was returning down on account of the injury.

Thus ended my Deccan Ultra Marathon. I won't deny the fact that the pain was not real. Even as I am sitting two days after the race writing this blog I can still feel the pain. The pain today morning was so severe that I literally could not touch my left feet on the ground. But the main intention why I named this post as a failure is because I had lost the race even before the injury happened. Even if I had the conviction in me I am sure I would have overcome the injury and still completed the race. But I failed from within. So I know deep inside me it is my failure.

Finally I reached the campsite and I called up the organiser informing them my situation and to mark me DNF. I packed my bag. I wasn't too happy nor could I have an eye contact with any of the fellow racers who were now coming in after completing the 12Km race or the 30 Km category. I somehow had my lunch keeping my head low and just picked up my bag and left the campsite. It wasn't a victory lap that I had this time. This is going to haunt me, I think for a long time. I hope I am able to channelise that frustration in the appropriate way.



-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You And Me Too !!!

Thursday, 6 February 2020

The Lows

Time as a factor is becoming invisible
One just doesn't understand
Where it vanishes in a blink of eye

Being an early riser I do catch-up
With the rising sun
But rarely do I see the same one
Setting in the twilight

Many of the days are just passing by
With a question mark as to
What am I doing with all the time, I have?

Each morning pops up a question
Are you doing enough to give justice
To the life you have ?

Not all days will be your best ones
As lows are part of the journey called life

One needs to keep walking and exploring
Till the status quo changes 
From this mundane routine
Which I currently have

Even though I agree to it, that it's just a phase
Still sometimes we question our existence
When the going becomes dry


-SR.

PS: May The Force Be With You !!